The Thinking Man’s Definitive Gift Giving Guide for 2021!
Just in time for Christmas – but applicable to Valentine’s day, birthdays and anniversaries as well! A better gift giving strategy that will set you apart from the pack!
Introduction
Guys – we have all been there. The inevitable awkward comparison that is made between the gift that you got your girlfriend or wife for her birthday, Christmas, engagement, Valentine’s day, or anniversary, and what her best friend’s husband or boyfriend gave to her girlfriend. The comparison is always made – it is just a matter of whether you are alert enough to pick up on the conversation – or clues that the conversation has already occurred. And if that comparison is made in the arena of jewelry, you are, most likely , way out of your element and almost always going to be on the losing end of that stick – since you can’t even defend yourself!
Do you really want to swim in those waters? Do you want to play the one-upmanship game at the big boys’ table where the rules don’t even make one iota of sense? Can any little bauble and stone really be worth THAT much money?
I’ve learned over the years that you really I don’t want to compete on the same plane as everyone else – and that it is best to take your gift giving to a whole other level!!
Jewelry simply says that you are lazy, that you have more money than brains (of which both might actually be in short supply), and that you are content just doing the same thing that everyone else is doing. It is the safety in numbers approach.
Buying jewelry, you are going to get dinged – one way or another (most likely at least financially). However, it shouldn’t be catastrophic gift- because at some level she is amused and likes jewelry.
But is that really good enough for the one you love? Don’t you feel like you should try a litter harder, that she deserves better, and that a more practical gift makes more sense – especially if you can accomplish all these objectives and still save a lot of money?!!?!
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A Better Gift Giving Strategy
Whether it’s Christmas, birthday or anniversary, I’ve got some empirically verified great gift giving ideas that are going make your wife or girlfriend the absolute envy of your neighborhood, community or social circle! I’ve put a lot of thought into these unique gift ideas and have actually given almost all of these to my wonderful wife over the years!
Simply said, I’ve done the hard work, and been the guinea pig – so you don’t have to!
This amazing list of gift ideas is in reverse order – with my best ideas being saved for last. So please make sure to read all the way to the very bottom. I know many of you might be so enamored with my first suggestions that you will be tempted to skip the rest of the post and just act on the first one or two ideas. But, trust me, it is well worth your time to read on to the very end of the post – where I reveal my absolute best ideas!
# 7) Virtual Machine
If you are anything like me, I am certain you probably have a VMware ESXi server kicking around somewhere in your basement. If so – why not take the time to build, from scratch, a virtual machine for your wife or girlfriend?
And definitely go BIG on this one! Don’t waste your time, or hers, with some wimpy and unexciting variant of a Windows 10 machine. I wouldn’t even waste my time with something like a Windows 3.11 (Windows for Workgroups) for nostalgia. Rather, do it right and give her some exotic flavor of Linux – like Kali, Elementary or Deepin Linux! I guarantee that she will NOT be expecting that! The stunned look on her face will be – how does VISA say it? – “Priceless!”
Now I realize that she may not initially comprehend just what you have given her – but I am sure with some tutoring and once you demonstrate how easy it can be to recover her virtual machine from the brink of a disaster and even make disposable clones of her beloved virtual machine, she will, no doubt, have an epiphany and come to appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity! She will realize the labor of love in creating this virtual machine one mouse click or keystroke at a time….
Heck, you might even want to go one step further and giver her TWO virtual machines – and show her how they can co-exist simultaneously yet independently on your server and communicate with each other!! Trust me on this one, she will truly appreciate how you have opened her eyes to a whole new world!
Think of the powerful symbolism at play here!! You (virtual machine #1), her (virtual machine#2), coexisting simultaneously, yet independently in your home & communicating…. Mind blown!
My favorite virtualization software is VirtualBox by Oracle.
# 6) Subdomain
As you are most likely well aware, most web hosts allow for several subdomains with your already existing hosting account. No surprise here. But did you every think about giving your wife / girlfriend one of those subdomains?
Again – go BIG here and set up a new WordPress install on her subdomain. Then go the next step and pick a theme for the website that suites her personality rather than just a theme that you would consider for yourself.
For the presentation of the gift I would humbly suggest that you write the address of her new subdomain on a small fortune cookie sized piece of paper and enclose it in a jewelry box… The juxtaposition of the old and tired gift box (the jewelry box) with the new and exciting (subdomain) will surely make her realize how much thought and effort you put into her gift – and will most likely bring her to tears. Tears of joy, of course!!
My favorite web hosting company is BlueHost
# 5) Z-Wave System
What better way to show the one you love just how much you love her than to be able to manipulate and monitor nearly every aspect of the home environment to make sure that it is absolutely optimal for her! Not only will this demonstrate your concern for her safety, but her comfort as well! Women want men that are going to step up to the plate and be able to make them feel comfortable and secure. Two of the systems I would recommend are the Samsung Smartthings Hub and the Wink Hub.
# 4) IP Camera Security System
This one goes hand-in-hand with the Z-wave idea. Imagine your wife/girlfriend’s comfort in realizing that not only do you have complete & total benevolent control over every aspect of her home environment at all times, whether near or far, but that you can see her there with a God’s eye view as well!
She will certainly sigh with great relief when you explain all of this to her and she will, most definitely, feel immensely safer in your home! Additionally, and most importantly, think about the incredible closeness to you she will feel! – It will be almost as appealing to her as 24/7 cuddling!
I like both the Wyze cameras and LaView for IP based security systems.
# 3) Smartwatch with Cell Service
The foundation to a great relationship with your wife / girlfriend is really all about communication. It’s that simple. What better way is there to ensure that you are in constant communication with your significant other than to give her a smartwatch with cell service?!
I get it – she already has a phone – but phones can be accidentally left behind, they can be set aside on the edge of the desk. They don’t provide that direct and immediate contact that she is craving and which demonstrates just how much you love her.
In contrast, a watch – that is physically attached to her body guarantees that you will be able to communicate with your special someone when you really need to!
Real life example: The other day I was home working in the garage. It was close to mid-day and I had just completed big part of a project I was working on. A natural break point, if you will. Rather than going into the house and fixing myself a sandwich – and thereby depriving my lovely wife from the opportunity to demonstrate her love for me by tending to my nutritional needs utilizing her highly developed and appreciated gastronomical skills – I remotely added “Prepare Lunch for Chip” on her calendar. Not only did I add this to her calendar – but I flagged it as a high priority and set it to alert her to the calendar addition immediately. Despite the fact that she had no phone within 25 feet of her and engaged in some other random household activity of little consequence – she knew instantly about a very important and time-sensitive matter that I felt compelled to communicate to her. What wonderful communication!
So don’t cheap out here and get her a smartwatch that has to be tethered to her phone. Treat your woman right and get her the one that has direct access to cell service – bypassing any reliance on a cell phone.
# 2) Bluetooth Enabled Scale
Stay with me on this one! I can sense you cringing as you read this…. I know the initial reaction is that this can’t be good – but have faith in me – it will be great!
Most of us have health goals to maintain / lose some weight. If our wife / girlfriend is one of those people- how great would it to support her in her goals?!?! Right?!! I mean we want to show that we are supportive – and, after all, isn’t that one of the traits she found appealing in us when she married / starting dating us?
Now with technology, we can take that support to a whole new level! Some of these Bluetooth enabled scales are amazing! They can help your loved one monitor her weight, BMI (Body Mass Index), and body fat percentage. On top of that they are able to easily and wirelessly synchronize all of her progress and statistics with various apps from Apple, Samsung, Google and Fitbit! All through the magic of Bluetooth!
I got Melani one of these last year – and she was so excited! Unfortunately, our 2 year old (at the time) accidentally dropped it in the bathtub the same day that Melani got it – and it hasn’t worked since. Sensitive electronics and all. But eventually – I will get around to replacing it!
The feature Melani liked best about it was that the one that I got her made it super easy to share and post her progress on social media! Amazing! Just think of how much our wives / girlfriends appreciate OUR support. Now through the power of social media – amplify that by a factor of several hundred – and you can’t even imagine how much your wife / girlfriend will appreciate all the support she will get from her circle of friends and family! It literally brought my sweet wife to tears!
Again – since we are all about going the extra step – I would highly recommend that you open the scale up before giving it to her and linking it all up to her apps, phone and social media accounts. You will be greatly rewarded for this extra effort!
# 1) Exercise Bike
So a Bluetooth scale allows your wife / girlfriend to track her progress for her health goals – but what about going even further and helping her ACHIEVE those goals??? Well that’s where this next gift idea is coming from – a direct way to show her just how much you care by helping her attain the fitness goals she has set for herself!
Nothing says you love her more than exercise equipment that helps her look and feel her best! She will really appreciate you helping her create a more positive body self image for herself! Defend that inner thigh gap at all costs ladies!!
Now again – we are all about technology here – so I am not talking about your grandmother’s stationary bike here – I’m talking Peloton or iFit bikes!
With these new bikes and the Internet connectivity they posses – real life instructors are able to inspire, cajole and motivate your wife or girlfriend to get those pedals moving and carrying them on to success. Never mind the finger paint on the walls, or the piles of un-folded laundry in the corner – these wonderful devices bring the instructor right into the privacy of your own home in a safe and un-threatening manner. What, I ask, is not to like about that?!
This is nearly the perfect gift – and one that keeps on giving, long after the initial excitement wears off! Believe me – she doesn’t realize how much this will change her and her life!
Conclusion
Putting that extra effort into showing you wife how much you love and appreciate her will pay dividends in your relationship! Giving her something more practical and useful than jewelry, something that took thought and effort to get and set up for her will, undoubtedly, set you apart from your peers and establish you as the unselfish & evolved male you have become!
I will admit that over the years I have almost, at times, felt badly for the other women in our community. I have seen the pitiful looks on their faces as my wife walks by and how they reel in awe when my wife, reluctantly -for fear of embarrassing them and their husbands- divulges her bounty at the community Christmas concert. I have seen the contortion of their faces, in sheer envy, no doubt, when my wife, in barely a whisper, tells them of my thoughtfulness and magnanimity. Oh, the looks from other wives – and irrepressible tears of joy & pride from my wife. It really does make all the extra effort and time you invested in your gift worth it when you see such a genuine and heartfelt display of appreciation…. It is almost making me emotional as I write this!
It’s not luck in finding the perfect gift for your wife or girlfriend, but rather a rigorous cognitive exercise in creativity & unselfishness that a thinking male is happy to engage & endure for the woman he loves!
The only thanks I require is the knowledge that I have helped make your relationship with your wife or girlfriend better. However. I would really appreciate if you would please take the time to drop me a comment after you give her your amazing & unique gift and witness her joyful reaction and gratitude.
And please don’t forget to share this post, and the wisdom contained within it, with your friends, family and colleagues. I am sure they will enjoy it and get as much value out of it as you have.
Bonus Gift Idea!
Anything you print with your 3D Printer! Just think how much she will treasure anything that you produce through the truly awesome process of additive manufacturing!! Especially if you take the time to actually design it in TinkerCAD yourself – as opposed to just downloading it from Thingiverse!
Thank you!
Sincerely,
P. S. My female readers keep asking me if I am actually married. The answer is YES – I’m taken! Why do you keep asking me that?…..
P. P. S. Once your wife or girlfriend realizes the prize catch you are and you start having children together, trust me, you are going to want to make sure you are very familiar with the strategies I outline in the following post: Diaper Changing Avoidance Strategies for New Dads!
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Love these gift ideas! So many are suggestions for jewelry or clothes. Love the scale, though I do not have a phone. It WOULD be fun to share progress online. Something about sharing one’s accomplishments with others helps other see they are not alone.
Jaya – You are AWESOME! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I really appreciate you, your loyalty and discipline. You truly inspire me! Chip
Check out Jaya’s site @ https://ninchronicles.wordpress.com/
You are awesome! I always love reading your adventure updates. 🙂
I would not recommend Ed buying me a scale for a gift at Christmas unless he wants to practice avoiding me sending it hrough the air at him🤩